Dear Starbucks Employees...

Just a couple quick things.

• I'm never ever going to use your retarded size names. I know that annoys you to no end, but you might as well just get used to it. The size names are dumb, that's just the plain fact of the matter. Really, it's not necessary to look at me like "dude, just conform already..." because, hey, it's not like you don't know exactly what I mean when I say 'large coffee' - and the attitude just isn't becoming of a representative of the world's largest caffeine conglomerate.
  
• I really like the fact that you guys put the lids and java-jackets on the cups for me, I really do. But I find it very hard to believe that you haven't discovered that if you afix the lid with the "drinky hole" even sortof in line with the seam of the cup, the coffee will leak out whenever I take a nice long swig of my Large Coffee(TM)

Thanks for your time.